Look, sports announcers are on air for hours at a time ranting and trying to keep their finger on the pulse of a game that’s unpredictable and unscripted. Bloopers are going to happen, creepy things are going to be said, and sports announcers are going to be exposed.
The job of an announcer is to entertain their audience, which sometimes involves walking the thin line of shocking the audience with bizarre hot takes and prolonged camera time for hot girls in the crowd.
Pierre Mcguire has had some, uh, interesting moments on live TV. He’s basically a human highlight reel of bloopers while also maintaining the aesthetic of the Monopoly Man mixed with Dana Carvey’s character in Master of Disguise. Don’t know that reference? Here.
One of his more memorable moments came when he was talking about NHL defencemen with “long sticks” meaning they’re big bodies. He then turned to his fellow announcer and said, “You’re an announcer with a long stick” which caused for some, uh, sexual tension for the rest of the segment. Watch it, here.
Yikes, this one is difficult to watch. Talking about NHL defenceman PK Subban, who is black, and comparing him to Alex Pietrangelo, who’s white, and saying Pietrangelo plays the “white way” and then correcting it to the “right way” was a rough go.
It was almost certainly a slip of the tongue that probably could’ve happened at any time, but just happened to be when he was talking about PK. They did apologize after the commercial break, but it still makes for awkward TV.
Every guy can relate to this on some level. It’s not even really creepy at all because his nuts were probably squished up in his boxers and there was some mandatory readjustment that needed to take place.
This wasn’t just a grab — this was a full body squat to let them hang free, and then he rallied the troops a little later for when the camera came back to him.
Hard Wood Holtz
Lou Holtz shamelessly spews the fact that his last name means “hardwood”. I’ve looked around and I can’t find anything on the origins of the name Holtz meaning “hardwood”, not even on Urban Dictionary.
Hardwood, of course, refers to a boner which would be an awesome name for Lou when he was younger, and at his age now it would just be impressive.