If there’s one thing I loathe more than pineapple on a pizza, it’s a bunch of middle-aged parents jabbering about youth soccer. The conversations usually center around teamwork, sportsmanship and deciding who brings the halftime oranges. Sportsmanship is for losers and I’m glad to have finally met a soccer mom who agrees with me.
Recently, I discovered an Imgur thread posted by user “thecarnival” featuring a series of screengrabs from an iChat exchange between one rogue soccer mom and her fellow group members. The conversation is hilarious. I broke it down as best as I could below.
The friendly reminder
Most chat groups of this nature are used to coordinate events such as games, practices, or this case, parent-coach meetings. The supposed leader of the pack kicks things off with her bit before getting a flurry of identical confirmation for the group.
One of these is not like other
Whoa, hold the phone, here. Was that a thumbs up? I didn’t know emojis were even allowed in this group. “Ok”s only, Martha. Get that out of here or you’re on orange duty for the next two weeks.
Sorry if Martha’s misplaced emoji threw anyone off, but below her wayward thumbs up is a provocative message from the delinquent soccer mom in question. She wants the group to know their sons suck and that her son is the best.
What I meant to say was…
The first comment clearly didn’t go over well, so our rogue mother decided to rephrase it in a way that was slightly less combative. They weren’t having it. It was too late. The group was triggered…