Kate Upton was probably the most famous model from the years 2010 – I don’t know, I guess when she started dating Justin Verlander and he made her stop leveraging her ASSets in magazines for money. Because of her success as a model, she’s been in movies and is basically a household name if you’re a male from the ages of 15- 101.
She’s stopped with the basically nude pictures now that she’s in a serious relationship, and it’s basically burning us all inside. So, today is your lucky day. Here are some photos that her boyfriend REALLY wished we didn’t see.
Stretching the Boundaries
As you can see, this bra is screaming for help because it’s ripping at the seams… and for good reason. I’m no bra expert, but where is the support from the shoulder straps? This is the definition of a bra that looks in agony trying to hold in her, um, mammaries.
Kate Upton went to school to be an astronaut, and this is the picture that proved to NASA that she was ready for takeoff. Just kidding about her wanting to be an astronaut because she doesn’t need a rocket ship when she has no problem naturally being buoyant.
Perhaps the most blasphemous Kate Upton moment of all time that Verlander doesn’t want anyone to see is probably this video. This is a classic “I don’t know how to dance, but I’m going to do it anyways” and not only embarrass myself but also embarrass everyone who’s with me and my entire heritage dating back to, I don’t know, the dinosaurs.
This was a Carl’s Jr. Super Bowl commercial that was banned because it was literally a softcore porn with a really yummy burger tagging along for the ride.
It’s a commercial that you feel guilty about watching any time before 11 pm, kind of like going on Chatroulette.